To U.....What's the Most Surprising Thing About Love?

Poets have written about amour and singers have been singing about love since Adam met Eve. As long as love has been around, it still has the power to amaze and thrill us. Real Simple readers share insights into love's delights and mysteries.

No matter what happens, you may not forget but you always forgive!

Emma Weiberlen

Bronx, New York

The surprising thing is how much you can learn about someone when discussing what it is that they love. When I first meet people, I always try to ask them about their loves ― what food do you love, what do you love most about living in the city, what is one piece of music you absolutely love?

It's very revealing to hear someone speak about something or someone they love. Their face lights up, you can hear passion in their voice, and you find out what it is that really gets that person excited! It's a great way to get to know someone and see that person in their most positive light.

Jacqueline Schmidt

New York, New York

Love has a way of returning again and again, with much less work and with just as much meaning!

Kimberly Ammons

Suffolk, Virginia

It always wins. We are all guilty of it! You swore you would never marry. Then it happens. You meet someone who finally understands your family ― someone you can laugh with, cry with, and everything in between. Love takes the win! Kids? Forget about it ― especially in this economy. Who can afford them? Nine months later that baby looks at you like you are the most important person in his world. That's another point for love! You fix the neighbor's car, tie a child's shoe, hold the door for a stranger, return a lost puppy, forgive an old friend. Love remains undefeated.

Jennifer Baglio

Stratford, Connecticut

You find you have higher standards than you ever thought you had when you find someone to love and someone who loves you. Love makes people want to grow together and make ourselves better people for the ones we love.

Piper Hyland

Oakland, California

As a single mother who was alone for eight years, you would think the most surprising thing about love was that I would find the man of my dreams sitting next to me at my son's baseball game. But the thing that surprises me the most is how much in love with him I am over three years later. I still get butterflies when I see him. Finding love that truly lasts later in life surprises and amazes me.

Fran O'Brien

Saddle Brook, New Jersey

My best friend once told me right before she got married that the most surprising thing about her love was her ability to admit when she is wrong, and apologize to her husband. With everyone else she is her usual stubborn self, but with her husband she is able to be her true self, even if she has to apologize for that sometimes! According to her, love does mean having to say you're sorry.

Katie Charest

Baltimore, Maryland

I have always thought that if you were in love you would have those ooey-gooey feelings. I have been most surprised these past two years when I realized that love has nothing to do with those ooey-gooey feelings. Love is actually a sacrifice, and many times when I love someone else it actually hurts! I've found that when I lay down my wants and desires for someone else, that's real love.

Celia Storey

Canton, Texas

It is like a Ninja, popping up when you least expect it and turning your once safe world upside down.

Susie S.

Alexandria, Virginia

Love doesn't judge.

Taysha Riggs

Los Angeles, California

I had no idea what was going to happen when the "I can't get enough of you" phase ended. I thought nothing could compare. Truth is, I wouldn't trade the intimacy, trust, and comfort of being with my husband for over 15 years for anything. It does get better, deeper, and more significant.

Laurie Ciulla

Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey

8 Reasons Why Men Cheats

Guys explain why they got the urge to stray on their significant others.

Sometimes, when the going gets tough, the tough get it on with someone else. But what really makes men stray?

A nagging girlfriend?  Bad sex?  An escape from loneliness? Yes, yes and yes. Hear why these men slipped away from their girlfriends and landed in someone else's bed. Then — whether you're a guy or a girl — use the info below to sidestep this kind of situation in your love life.

Reason #1: For payback

"I once cheated on my girlfriend after I saw on her cell phone that she had been text-messaging with her ex. They were pretty harmless messages, but it angered me that she had been communicating with him in the first place — I'd always thought they were a little too chummy. That night, I was out with friends and had a lot to drink. I got so worked up about those messages that I pretty much made it my mission to find another girl and hook up with her, which I did. I think it was a payback thing. We eventually broke up, but not because of that incident — I never told her — but more so because we just weren't right for each other. I know it wasn't the best way to handle my anger, but at the time, it sure did feel good."

— Christopher, 29, Oakland, CA

Reason #2: The physical attraction just isn't there

"Ever since I can remember, I have always been attracted to women with large chests. My ex-girlfriend was great in a lot of ways, but she was completely flat-chested, which did absolutely nothing to make me sexually attracted to her. I tried to look past it, but it was hard. About two months into our relationship, I was out with a bunch of friends at a sports bar, and our incredibly hot and ample-chested waitress was really hitting on me. She gave me her number and asked me if I wanted me to meet her after her shift was over. I agreed, and ended up sleeping with her. It was just a one night thing, but it helped me realize I needed to end things with my girlfriend, because I had to be with someone I was madly attracted to."

— Dave, 26, Roanoke, VA

Reason #3: She just isn't there

"I cheated on my ex at a time when she was traveling so much that I never saw her. It was almost as if I didn't have a girlfriend. I got so lonely — especially on the weekend nights, and I missed that companionship, both physically and emotionally. When she was gone, I began seeing someone else while I was still technically seeing my ex. I ended up telling my ex and she broke it off with me. In the end, I think things ended for the better, even though the steps I took to make it happen weren't very honorable. I now make sure that whoever I choose to date doesn't have a job that requires big-time traveling."

— Scott, 30, Jessup, MD

Reason #4: He thinks he's missing out

"I had dated Melanie all through college ever since we met at orientation. After we graduated, I moved to New York and she moved to Chicago, but we decided we'd stay together. I spent nearly every weekend traveling to see her, but during the week, I'd go out with my friends in New York and have a blast. After a few months of that drill, I knew staying true to her would be tough; going out in the city made me realize how many smart, beautiful women are out there, and never having been with anyone other than Melanie made me feel like I was missing out on a lot of fun. One night I hooked up with another girl, which finally made me realize I had to end things with Melanie. I told her what happened, and, as it turned out, she had done the same thing a few times. While we were both hurt, we realized we needed to take some time off. We stayed friends, and still are today, even though we're married to different people."

— Tom, 35, New York, NY

Reason #5: He's moved on emotionally

"I met my ex in a Weight Watchers meeting, of all places. When we started dating, we were both about 50 pounds overweight. As the months went by, I took the program really seriously and quickly dropped weight. She didn't adhere to the program, and her weight didn't come off. After I lost the weight, I felt this new sense of confidence — women who had never spoken to me before began approaching me, and it felt great. My ex, on the other hand, was depressed about being heavy, and was always jealous of other women. One weekend when she was out of town, I met this gorgeous woman at my gym and we slept together. I never told my ex, but I did end up breaking up with her a few weeks after that incident. I've realized since then that I need to be with women who are on the same page as me about the things in my life that are important."

— Brad, 41, Houston, TX

Reason #6: There's too much fighting

"My ex and I used to live together, and we fought all the time. The constant tension made me miserable. In contrast to my ex, there was a girl at work who was easygoing, friendly and fun. One night we were both working late and ended up getting a drink together after we left. One thing led to another, and I ended up staying over at her place. As bad as this may sound, after that happened, I felt free. It was as if I finally had the courage to just end it with my ex already. When I came home the next morning, my ex went crazy, but for the first time, it didn't bother me, because I knew what I was going to do. I told her exactly what had happened and that I'd be moving out that week, and I did. I began seeing the girl from work, and we've been together for about four months now."

— Nate, 34, Boulder, CO

 Reason #7: He needs a shot of self-esteem

"I'm really shy, and have never felt very comfortable approaching women. I once had a girlfriend who was just as shy as me. Our relationship was fine — nothing too exciting — but I was resigned to the fact that it was my best option. I went to a conference for business, and during one of the dinners, a really attractive, sexy woman at my table began hitting on me like mad. I was so shocked; nothing like that had ever happened to me before. It made my self-confidence skyrocket, and I felt on top of the world. She and I were together that night and a few other times during the conference. I never told my ex about what had happened, but I did end things with her a few months later. After the conference the other woman and I never saw each other again, but the experience gave me the confidence that I could go out and approach interesting, exciting women — I just needed that push."

— Charlie, 33, St. Louis, MO

Reason #8: To fulfill a fantasy

"I once cheated on my girlfriend of six months when a girl I had been pining over for quite some time came on to me. She had been with someone else for a long time, so I knew she was off-limits. I have to admit, I'd still probably do it again; it was like my fantasy finally came true. I broke up with my girlfriend and dated this girl for a while, but we didn't last. Sometimes, the fantasy is better than the reality!"

— Mark, 44, New York, NY

31 things I wish I'd known about dating when I was 21

At 31, dating blogger Mrs Amen Newton looks back and shares 31 dating truths she wishes she had known ten years earlier when she was 21.

I never realized how many opinions I have about dating. I've been dating so long I'm like an octogenarian who feels overly strong about what strawberries should cost or how children should act in public. Anyway, here are some things I've learned in my 31 years, and what I wish I'd known about dating ten years ago:

1. If you're confused about whether a guy likes you or not, that's probably not good. Confusion in romance belongs only in romantic comedies because it suspends the plot, but suspense in real life sucks. So try not to analyze the events. The truth will reveal itself without you having to do anything.

2. Sometimes guys flirt with you or pay attention to you because it makes them feel good about themselves. (Hey, we do it, too.)

3. Even a guy who will admit that you're better looking than him should still be able to tell you you're beautiful. If he holds back in order to control the situation, or to keep you, or keep you down, he's got issues.

4. Don't help him ask you out by texting him something nice or polite. I'm glad you're more outgoing and thoughtful than he is, but he doesn't want the help.

5. Guys want to get busy more than anything. They'll say anything to close the deal.

6. It's shocking how much guys will talk about marriage. Until there's a ring on your finger, it will be better for you if you pretend you're deaf.

7. It's better not to lift a finger in the beginning.

8. In the early stages, giving him presents is too much. Generosity looks desperate to guys. You may be a great shopper and gift-wrapper; it may be his birthday and you may be wild about birthdays — even still, he'll think you're just wild about him. Too wild.

9. Guys just do not think like girls. I wish I'd had a brother. Real boys are nothing like the boys in movies.

10. They might take a decade to mature. Don't hope they'll grow up or be ready in the next six months.

11. Even if your family thinks there's going to be a marriage, don't let them spoil your guy. Yes, he's grateful you gave him your car when he moved out of NYC, but he would rather have had to work for it.

12. Learn to cook. Learn to cook well. I see now that it would have won me a lot of points. A LOT.

13. Just because he might be smarter than you or more talented at certain things doesn't mean he's your servant and won't mind doing all your homework/research/chores.

14. Guys get resentful, too.

15. You're special, unique, and important, but you're not a princess — no matter what Daddy says (although for the record, my dad calls me "Erin").

16. It's okay to say no. It's more than okay. It's always okay. If he stops calling (and many, many, many will), you're only weeding out the guys who aren't truly interested in you as a person. Time saved!

Ten Wedding Blunders to Avoid

From blowing your budget on your dress to hiring friends instead of pros, here's a heads up on 10 wedding headaches you can definitely do without.

You know not to book your venue before you set a budget. You even know the differences between addressing inner and outer envelopes. But do you know who should get their hair and makeup done first: you or your bridesmaids? Read on for the answer, plus other no-nos you may not know about.

1. Try not to get attached to your flower choices.

When you book your florist a year before your wedding day, he can only guess which blooms will be available for your wedding. If you have to have, say, asters, you could be disappointed. Instead, choose backups to your main blooms and add them to your contract. Think in terms of colors and shapes instead of specific flowers.

2. Think twice before you send save-the-dates to everyone.

Until you mail out invitations, your guest list isn't final. And it shouldn't be: Friends you're close with when you get engaged may be mere acquaintances by the time you get hitched. Reserve save-the-dates only for those guests you know will be invited, like your families.

3. You will regret it if you skip videography.

Photos only take you so far: Videos let you hear your voice tremble as you say your vows and watch your friends tear up the dance floor. With more people documenting your wedding, you'll see things you may have missed on the day.

4. Be careful not to blow your fashion budget on your dress.

Maybe you have $1,500 set aside for your look. That doesn't mean you can buy a $1,500 gown! Tack on tax, and if you're not buying off the rack, you could get charged for shipping. You might need alterations, too. Consider your undergarments, shoes, hair accessories and jewelry when budgeting as well.

5. Avoid micromanaging your vendors.

You're choosing talented pros who understand your vision, so let them do their jobs! We know it's tempting to control every detail so you're guaranteed to love the results, but you won't have the time, and you certainly don't have the experience your vendors do. After your initial meetings, trust the pros to get it right. And, you know what? They almost always will.

6. Think hard before you pick your attendants.

Your bridesmaids should be your closest friends. Period. They can also be your sisters, cousins, aunts and even your mom, but they have to be people you'd trust to be there when you most need them. You don't know new friends well enough yet to be sure they'll support you in tough situations (every bride encounters one at some point), and picking people because a family member demands it or so you and your man will have an even number of attendants are also decisions you'll likely regret.

7. Please restrain yourself from telling everyone your plans.

It's so hard not to talk about your wedding. Try. The more you share, the more opinions you're going to get about your choices, whether or not you ask for them. Plus, part of wowing your guests is surprising them. If they already know that you're changing into a different dress for dancing or sending guests home with a batch of your grandma's cookies, they won't be quite as impressed on your wedding day. If that's not enough to deter you, talking about your plans means opening yourself up to copycats, who may actually be marrying before you do. The last thing you want is your friend stealing your idea for your surprise grand finale.

8. Seriously, stop booking your salon appointments last.

We get it: You want as much beauty sleep as possible, and you don't want your 'do to fall out or your makeup to fade before you walk down the aisle. But guess what: Busy stylists will likely get to you late if you're last in the chair. Schedule your appointments in the middle of your attendants'. It's not a big deal for a bridesmaid to switch to a less complicated (read: quick) hairstyle if she's pressed for time. That's not an option for you.

9. Don't even think about speeding through photos.

Speaking of not having enough time, any less than an hour isn't enough for a portrait session; an hour-and-a-half is closer to ideal because you'll look more relaxed in your pictures (and those first few never come out as well as you hope). Squeezing photos into the first half-hour of your cocktail hour will make you anything but at ease. If you refuse to see your groom before the ceremony, take pictures separately beforehand so the only shots left to take after the ceremony include both of you.

10. Avoid "hiring" a friend instead of a pro.

Sure, your pal was the king of the mix CD back in the day, but that doesn't mean he'll make a great wedding DJ. Same goes for your friend who won't leave home without her Flip — this doesn't make her a videographer! Even on a tight budget, you're much better off paying a vendor with experience to take care of the biggies, like the music and the food. Don't you want your friends to enjoy your wedding instead of having to work through it, anyway?

4 Things What Men Judge Ladies On

Right or wrong, guys form immediate opinions of you based on some rather unexpected criteria. Here are four seemingly small things that can tell him volumes about you.

When a guy first meets you, he knows you are on your best behavior and will be for a while, so he's looking at certain characteristics that give him quick insight into what you'd be like with your guard down. Here, four things that tell him more than you think.

1. Your Friends
You can work your butt off to come across well — hot outfit, big smile, witty conversation — but you can't do the same for your friends. Dudes know this, so if you're out with pals, men look at them as representatives of all your personality traits — including the not-so-good ones. "I met a girl who seemed sweet at a bar. We chatted, and she invited me to hang with her friends," says Stan, 26. "Within 10 minutes, I realized they were all gossipy drama queens, and I bolted." If your buds aren't on the same win-him-over page as you are, head to your own corner of the bar.

2. Your Laugh
Guys pride themselves on being funny, so they look for girls who can appreciate their sense of humor. However, there's such a thing as laughing too much. "I went out for drinks with one girl who cracked up at everything I said, even if it wasn't funny," says Adam, 27. "It got on my nerves so much that I made an excuse to leave early."

3. Your Drink of Choice
It doesn't matter whether you choose wine, beer, or a cocktail. What matters is that you have a compelling reason for choosing the type of drink ... and wanting to get totally wasted doesn't count. "One night, I met a girl who really appreciated beer," says Joey, 27. "When she explained why she prefers an IPA over a pilsner, I fell in love." Being able to defend your choice shows that you're smart enough to know what you like.

4. Cell-Phone Usage
You're having a great conversation with a guy when you get a text. What you do next — ignore it or write a response before putting the phone on the table so it's easier to get to next time — tells him how you'd treat him in the future. "I met a girl at a coffee shop, and within 15 minutes, her phone rang," says Seth, 33. "She just let it go to voice mail, which made me feel like, at that moment, I was her first priority."