A Practical Guide To Being in love online

More and more people these days are finding love online be it due to time constraints, unsociable working hours or simply the death of the community, but one thing is for sure, this is the fastest growing way to meet potential partners, however it has it's pitfalls. Whilst online dating agencies may offer a quick way to meeting these partners, Instant Messaging using programs such as ICQ, MSN, or Odigo offer a lightning speed way of getting very intimate, very quickly. It is so quick because you can be just who you want to be when you are chatting online, no one will see you blush if you say something wrong and most importantly, it allows you to take risks that you would never dream of taking in the real world. The most powerful aspect of this all though is that we paint our own picture in our minds of what the other person is without all those non-verbal cues such as facial expressions and mannerisms that subconsciously in the real world tell us valuable things about the person. In short, with our own beautifully created perception of the person, fall for them. So why do we as intelligent human beings end up falling for people we have never even met before? The answer is simplewe want to be in love, we so want to tell ourselves that the searching for our soul mate is over and with that we picture our lives in a blissful sea of coupledom, sharing our lives together. Sadly it is this haste to end our single lives that can lead to disappointment as quickly as it started.

Meeting Your online love for the first time

Sooner or later the question of actually meeting in person will come up and whilst many people would say it's better to take your time and let the online relationship develop, I strongly believe that the sooner you do it, the better. If you leave it too long, then the impression you have built up of this person will be so deep rooted that your expectations will be far too high and you will be set for disappointment. The other point is if you have been a lot more confident chatting than you would be in real life, how are you going to be able to keep up that persona? You may end up competing with yourself. So assuming that you are both happy with the length of time the romance has been going on for and you decide to meet, what will it be like? It will be quite strange to begin with. You may find that although you have been up most nights until 5 in the morning chatting, you find it hard to talk about things in the flesh. This is perfectly natural as the two of you are having to almost re-learn the parameters of the relationship and digest the visual cues that our mannerisms and facial expressions provide. It will be a nerve racking time as we have to decide there and then if these mannerisms and even physical odours are compatible with us. If you can pass that first test, then things get a lot easier. Do however be very careful if you are traveling abroad to meet someone because if things fail at this first hurdle, then you are totally stuck on your own in a foreign country.

Passed first base, what next?

Having gone through this initial nerve racking first meeting, there is often a huge temptation to revert back to an 'online relationship' as it feels so much more comfortable, but I cannot stress enough to resist that temptation. Slip back into the old online chatting routine and the online persona won't die. The transition from online to offline relationship can be extremely difficult but at all costs, you must get to know the real person from a new offline perspective and kill off any false impressions you may have had about them online. Going back to the online chatting routine may make you feel all warm and fuzzy again, but it can be an unrealistic perception of who the person really is.

In Summary

This all may seem a little negative and in some cases may not even apply, but overall, forewarned is forearmed. There are of course many people who have made a success of their relationship by Instant Messaging and some are even married now but it really pays to be aware of how feelings can be distorted by the shield of an anonymous nickname and a computer monitor.

what happened?....It was going so well...?....what happened?....

There seems to be a new phenomenon of late whereby a first date seems to go extremely well and may well lead on to a second date and then all of a sudden it's over. Why would this happen when everything seemed so right? The chemistry was there, shared interests and the kissing was good too so what happened? I wish I had an answer to this one as it has happened to me a couple of times and each time it has left me pondering how many different variables are involved in making a successful relationship. I do however have some theories that may at least ease the pain of the rejection.

Firstly, people are complicated when it comes to issues of the heart and to the most part we have spent many years cultivating in our heads just what our ideal partner would be. These expectations we have of people can put an enormous strain on a forming relationship and it is important to give people a little leeway. Understandably, people do make allowances for failed expectations however the truth is that a little too much wine can lower our expectations a little too much and make us act in a way that is not true to our real feelings. It's only when the date is over and the effects of alcohol subside do we realize that the person really isn't suitable at all.

Secondly, most people have some sort of emotional baggage whether that takes the form of an unresolved previous relationship or emotional fear of becoming attached again. I have often wished that people could be more up front about any concerns like this but often they are not and unfortunately, people find it easier to lie themselves out of a difficult emotional situation.

Thirdly, an old boyfriend or girlfriend wants them back and your date was in a sense using you to see if they are up to starting another relationship or not. This situation is probably the worst as you will find it extremely difficult to compete with someone your date has history with. On old partner will not require all the time and effort involved in starting again and represents a comfortable way out of the dating scene.

Finally, and possibly the most difficult to swallow is that perhaps you were just too keen and got a little carried away. It's such a hard balancing act to do, knowing when the time is right to open up your emotions to someone and yet be sure that you're not making yourself too vulnerable. It's even harder when all the signals are telling you that it's ok to be swept away, especially if the date has taken on quite an intimate nature.

So what can you do now? The most sensible thing you can do is to reflect on what has happened and file it away in your experience drawer in the safe knowledge that you are that much wiser on the dating scene. Take it slower next time and don't be too quick to allow yourself to fall. Be sure the signs are right and trust your instincts. If there is a niggling doubt in your mind about something, generally there is something wrong and it's only the ecstasy of falling in love that is preventing you from facing it.

Relationship Advice When Dealing with Unfinished Business

In order to start meeting people, its best if most resentments from the past are eliminated, first. For many singles this is a piece of relationship advice that may be an enormous challenge, but the courage and openness it takes to deal with any unfinished business in your emotional history will create the kind of space in your life required to invite in someone new.
To better understand the unfinished business in your life, review the following questions, keeping in mind the people’s names that come out of this list may not necessarily be just former partners:

· Is there anyone I need to apologize to, send thanks, or seek resolution with?

 · What resentment, anger, fear, hurt, grief, or pain comes to mind when thinking of people I’ve had any kind of relationship with?
· If a friend were to mention someone’s name in passing, would there be a negative physical response to their name coming up in conversation? For instance your heart sinks or something gets caught in your throat.

· Are there any conclusions I’ve made about who I am as a person from these interactions that require further investigation?

Depending on your past experiences, your answers to these questions may be brief or lengthy. Don’t be surprised if the list of people increases as you work through this unfinished business or have more time to ponder them.

Unfinished Business: Making Apologies
If you’ve held on to guilt about a specific relationship or something you did for a number of years, wouldn’t it be a relief to let that burden go? Even if you have no interest in making contact with this person again (or can’t because they’ve moved away or passed on), there are many ways to say you’re sorry that have enough meaning for you to move on with your life. Writing a detailed apology on a piece of paper that you later burn, enshrine, or put into a helium-filled balloon and let waft into the sky are all ideas to try.

Unfinished Business: Dealing with Conflicts Not Yet Resolved
Go back and look at the questions you answered in part one, and prioritize the people that you want to clear the air with in order of the most straightforward to deal with to the most difficult or complex. Then, write a letter to this person telling them you’d like to meet. Your letter could be something as simple as,

“You’ve been on my mind of late, and I feel strongly that we need to get together to talk about what happened. Please know that I have no intentions here other than to talk and try to come to terms with our conflicts. I’d like nothing more for both of us to be able to think of the other without any negative feelings.”

Send your letter to the first person on your list, keeping in mind it may come as a shock to the receiver. If they don’t respond in a couple of weeks, then take the time to write out everything you wanted to say to them in person so that at least you can move on. Or, if the person asks for no contact whatsoever, write the letter anyway and dispose of it using a method that both honors the intended receiver and your memory of them.

Don’t forget to include the following ideas and thoughts in your letter:

· Anything the other person did to make you feel loved, appreciated, special, or anything else positive that came from the interaction;

· What you learned from your relationship with this person;

· Any qualities you appreciate in this person; and

· Whether or not you want to leave the door open for further interactions or not.

Unfinished Business: Grieving
You’ll know that you’ve grieved to completion about a person or a relationship when you can remember the experience with only peace in your heart. This also means not feeling intense loneliness night upon seeing your empty bed or crying when finding something of theirs unexpectedly.

Each person grieves on their own timeline and in their own way. There are no guidelines to follow, only the knowledge that when you’ve worked through your grief you’ll be a better person for the experience.

How to kiss passionately

A lot of people are still virgins when it comes to kissing. A lot of people can kiss but don't know how to kiss properly. Here are the basics to kissing. Once you have mastered kissing then you can try other styles and techniques of kissing.

1. Hygiene - The last thing anyone wants is to be kissed by someone who has yellow teeth or bad breath. Brush your teeth twice a day and floss to get in-between the gaps. Your partner will love to be kissed by you if your moth is clean and fresh.

2. Get into a comfortable position - You don't want to have to stop a few seconds into kissing because your back is twisted. Sitting comfortable means no back pain and longer kissing.

3. Embrace your partner - But don't squeeze him/her. Cuddling each other so that your faces are touching is perfect. You could cup your partners face gently in your hands.

4. Move your faces closer - Don't bump noses. Both of you must tilt your head slightly to the side so that your nose is touching the side of the other's nose.

5. Kiss your partners lips gentle - Closed lips kissing to start with. Close your eyes and let the warmth of each others lips take over your senses.

6. Get comfortable with simple closed lip - Lip-to-lip kissing before going anywhere else.

7. Lightly brush your tongue across your partners lips - This will entice him/her to open their mouth.

8. Now both of your mouths should be open - Now it is up to you. Move your mouths in time with each other opening them and slightly closing them in rhythm with one another.

9. Whatever you do, don't bite.

10. Continue kissing - Until you are comfortable with each other's lips.

11. You could of course use a mirror - Which may be a lot easier and a lot less scary then kissing someone for the first time when you don't know how to kiss.

Ten nice ways to be romantic

When we have been in relationships for a while the romance seems to dwindle and both parties in the relationship think that the other should be more romantic. You read so often that the man should be the romantic one, and maybe 50 years ago this would have been so but this is no longer the case. Think back to when you first met. The first dates, wining and dining, making an effort to look your best, breakfast in bed, long weekends having frantic sex. Don’t you wish it was the same? Well I bet your partner also does. Instead of waiting for him to make the first move (after all we know how slow men are. No offence guys) YOU take the lead and add a bit of romance into your relationship.

Here are ten ways to show off your romantic side.


1. Pick up the phone:
 Give him a ring while he is at the office just to let him know that you are thinking of him. Or if you are confident with phone sex tell him what you are going to do to him once he gets home and in turn what you would like him to do to you.

2. Fill the stocking:
Men love sexy lingerie just as much as women if not more. Let him know how much you want him by getting out your best knickers, team them with a pair of fishnets, stilettos and seduce him tonight.

3. Feed his heart:
You know the old saying "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach!" Well you better believe it because it works every time. Get out the best china, set the table with candles, put on some soft music and prepare his favorite meal. You won?t even need to think of dessert because this is where he will become romantic and sweep you of to the bedroom.

4. Flirt:
When was the last time you actually flirted with your partner? Go out in public (to dinner, to a party or nightclub) and try it. It will boost both your egos and bring back those old feelings of lust for one another. Think like a single person and see what happens.

5. Bedroom boudoir:
 Set the mood in your bedroom. Clear out all the clutter, change the bed linen (bring in some silk sheets perhaps) and fill the room with scented candles. Stand a bottle of your favorite bubbly in some ice, lay your sexiest lingerie on the bed and keep a box of his favorite chocolates nearby. This is also an inexpensive way to give your bedroom a new look.

6. Use toys:
If you want to add some spice to your love making then what better way than to introduce some props. We are not talking about 12" dildos (unless you want to, that is) it can be something as small as a silk scarf or as daring as vibrators. Your man will need never be asked to make an effort again.

7. Watch a flick:
 Rent a romantic movie, order a take away, get out a bottle of your favorite wine, take the phone of the hook turn out the lights and snuggle into each other on the sofa in front of the TV. The romantic flick will soon have the two of you in the mood for love.

8. Love letters:
Leave him little notes in his pocket, on his pillow, next to his mother anywhere that he will find them that will give him a nice surprise.

9. Kiss him all over his body:
Slowly

10. 3 little words:
Tell him that you love him at least once a day. This will keep the love there even if you haven’t always got time to express it, those 3 little words is all that you need.

Sex: A Partnership Thing. How to talk to your partner about sex

Whether we are in a brand new relationship or have been married for forty years, when it comes to talking with our partners about sex, panic can often set in.

When we imagine the potential for rejection and drama, taking a risk like that with someone we love can often feel too great. This is probably the reason so few of us do try to share the really difficult stuff of our sexual lives. Here are ideas on raising those hard-to-raise issues.

1. Clarify the Issue for Yourself
Sex is complicated, your feelings may have as much to do with your own baggage and history as with your partner. If something is on your mind, sit with it for a while and clarify what doesn’t feel right. Some people find that writing a helpful way to do this; others will talk with close friends. The point of this is not to start complaining to others or placing blame. The exercise is all about you and how you feel.

2. Try to Write it Down
Don’t worry about floral language or grammar. Writing down what you want to talk about is a great step to clarify your issues for yourself and practice the way you might communicate it to your partner. Some people actually write their partner a letter, and end up giving it to them at a later point. Letter writing can be a powerful way to communicate your thoughts and feelings, and if done along with talking it can increase intimacy in a relationship in surprising ways.

3. Practice the Talk
This doesn't work for everyone, but if you’re nervous about talking it can help to do some practice talking. If you have a good friend you can do this with, great. If not, going through it on your own can help. Before every major “talk” I’ve ever had to do, I sit down in front of my computer screen and practice. If my monitor could talk, it would probably tell me to get a life, but it’s a great tool for me (and I’m pretty sure my monitor is too old a model to be talking).

4. Consider Your Timing
One of the most important considerations is when to talk. This will depend a lot on what you are talking about. If you want to raise the idea of trying something new in bed, then raising it just before you’re about to be intimate with your partner is probably not a good time. Ditto for raising your dissatisfaction with the frequency of your sex life minutes before your kids are due home (or your in-laws are coming over).

5. Choose Your Location
As with timing, location can make a difference. Bringing up sexual dissatisfactions in bed can be a bad move as it may create an association of negativity in your bed. Both you and your partner may also feel more vulnerable in bed than you would having the conversation fully clothed, out for a late-night walk.

6. Allow Time for Processing
Remember that your partner may be surprised by what you are saying. Give both of you the time and space to respond honestly without having to feel rushed or pressured. You may not be able to completely resolve the issue, or even talk about all the aspects of the issue in one sitting. Think about sexual communication as an ongoing process, not a one-shot deal.

7. Be Generous
No matter how hard it is for you to bring up your sexual concerns, if you are the only one raising them, consider that it may be even harder for your partner. If you can, try to be generous with your partner and try not to place the blame too heavily on either of you. There are two of you in the relationship, and ultimately both of you need to take responsibility for what is happening.

8. Check In Afterwards
Sometimes we can make ourselves so anxious about bringing something up with a partner, and then it goes not quite as bad as we thought, and we’re relieved, so we want to just move on. Give yourself permission to bring the topic up again. Don’t do it in a nagging way, but make it clear that your partner that you care about how they feel and you want to check in with them about how the conversation went.

Tips:

1. Keep in mind that every situation is different. These are general tips and your situation may call for many additional considerations.

2. Remember that your imagination can be your worst enemy when it comes to taking risks like this. The reality is that the response is almost never as bad as you think it will be, and talking openly about your sexual feelings, desires, likes and dislikes, can not only improve your sex life with your partner, it can improve other aspects of the relationship.

Any more tips on this:  mail or call me for more.

My Dating Advice For U and U Alone.

Remember that these dating tips are just that . . . tips. These are not global truths, and different people and different types of dates will always require different approaches. These ten dating tips & dating advice will get you started on the road to dating happiness.

1. Prepare yourself mentally for the dating game. If you really want to succeed ona a particular date, decide what type of person you are looking for, do your research on your own interests and goals, and be ready to commit to dating one individual if need be. Going into a date half cocked just won't work. This doesn't mean the first person you date has to be your future spouse -- but it means you should be ready for a monogamous relationship to arise. Remember that some people do date in order to find Mr. or Miss Right. Also prepare for some let downs along the way -- dating is nothing if not a series of excitements and disappointments, but remember not to take dating too seriously.
2. Prepare yourself physically for dating. Begin a new health regime if you will -- take a walk every day, get your cardio rate up, start a small diet. Looking your best can just be a matter of showing off that confident glow that comes from joining a gym, eating healthier, or getting a bit more fit. Though preparing yourself this way will not actually find you a date (though you may meet a date at the gym or at the health food store, etc), you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and confidence is incredibly sexy.
3. Buy something new for yourself to get you in the right mindset. This may seem shallow, but even a new pair of shoes will give you a boost of confidence that will be simply palpable to your new date. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new grooming routine. Have a beauty treatment or a massage. This is much like the above piece of advice, but has more to do with specifically treating yourself and raising your spirits. If you get yourself something nice, or treat yourself to a spa day, you can add another boost of confidence to your arsenal. Maybe its time to throw out those tired jeans and buy yourself a new designer pair -- who knows. It isn't the most important facet of a person, but people do appreciate appearance.
4. Figure out your goals for dating. Ask yourself some questions -- do you see yourself married in the next few years? If you do, then approach your date accordingly. Maybe you are more laid back about dating -- ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating now, and what you hope to get out of it. If your goal is purely sexual, then ask yourself if you are willing to be honest about this desire with your potential future dates. It will come up at some point on the date -- that dreaded question -- "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Prepare an honest and realistic answer.
5. I can't stress this enough -- make yourself confident. Unlike the above confidence boosters, here I mean literally boost your confidence right before a date is about to happen. This may mean giving yourself a pep talk in the mirror, or just attending a few social functions in the days before your date. By following the first five tips you will feel better and be more focused, but by giving yourself a bit of a confidence boost before you walk out the door, you'll appear fresh and happy.
6. When looking for a date, choose a realistic person. Go after a person you have a good chance of dating success with -- this doesn't mean you should aim low, but do aim realistically. Your dating life is based on the entire package you present, not just your personality. If you are looking for a glamourous supermodel, and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous -- good for you, but be prepared and be realistic about your chances. If you're a 6, don't be surprised when a woman who is a 10 rejects you.
7. Scout out potential dates. Work out in advance where in your town you are most likely to meet people. You can start by joining clubs, social events, sports groups, book clubs, drama clubs, anything where you are likely to meet potential partners. Match the club to the kind of partners you are looking for. Remember that you'll never meet anyone just sitting on your couch.
8. Enjoy yourself. Dating isn't always a pursuit of a marriage -- it means meeting people and socializing with them and spending time in the company of new people. There is something to learn from everyone, and while you may not be out there looking for new friends, you may be surprised to find just that -- a new friend rather than a new love.
9. Don't forget to keep an air of mystery about yourself. People like mystery and the thrill of the chase during dating. This means do not give away too much information about yourself on your first few dates, and do not sleep with your dates early on if you want the relationship to progress. If you can stand it, keep the first sexual encounter teetering on the brink. The longer a date is left to chase and fall for you, the more likely they are to be really into you. You can take this too far -- if you 'snub' a potential date too much, they will have no choice but to forget about you and begin to move on. There's a thin line between mystery and outright ignoring a date.
10. Remember to take a break from dating if you need to. Take time off from dating occasionally, especially if its not going well or if your dates are causing "dating fatigue". Dating is a process, and there is nothing wrong with "recharging the batteries" so to speak -- this will reload that all important confidence and optimism level. The best way to casually date is to do so in phases.

To you, Dating A Married Man, How do u feel?

Most of us are horrified if we find out that someone we know is dating a married man. There is a lot of stigma attached to dating a married man. Friends and family will not agree with your decision to do so which may make you feel very alone. For some religious people, this is not only a terrible thing to do, but it’s a cardinal sin. It’s hard for many of us to support any friend involved in this type of relationship.
Dating a married man is no picnic. You’ll probably have to sneak around as you’re dating so that nobody else finds out. This may seem fine at first but as the relationship progresses you might start to feel stifled. Your man may only be able to call you when he’s able to sneak away from his wife and kids. You may find yourself alone more times than you’d like cause like it or not, his family will come first. Are you prepared to be last on the list?
The biggest problem that you will face is the emotional factors? This relationship will affect everybody. Whether they find out or not, your man has a wife and may have kids. What will happen if the wife and kids find out? The wife might be so upset she files for divorce. But what about the kids? It’s so hard for kids to understand these things. The tremendous guilt you will feel will be hard to shake.
Picture yourself as a young child and having your family torn apart by a stranger. I’m sure you wouldn’t have liked that to happen. You also have to consider the moral character of the person you’re involved with. If they are doing this to their wife, what’s to stop them from cheating on you? He might use the excuse that his marriage went south to justify his relationship with you. However, he could always get counseling or a separation before proceeding with any other person.
One thing to consider is what’s the point of the whole relationship? Will he ever leave his wife permanently or does he want to have his cake and eat it too? If you happen to be dating a married man, what are his intentions? Many women in this situation find that they are being strung along by their man.
Most married men don’t want to go through the expense and stress of leaving their wife and family. This will eventually make you feel not worthy enough. You have to think about your own goals and what you want your future to look like. Do you want to get married some day? Will you want to have children of your own? If the answer to both of these questions is yes, than you need to break off this relationship. 
There really is no positive point to dating a married man. If you find yourself facing this decision in your life, I would advice against it. There are plenty of single people out there that you can find to date. You’ll never forgive yourself for ruining other people’s lives. Even if the wife and kids never find out, you know what you’re doing. Don’t be fooled into thinking that you won’t feel any guilt.

Advice For Married Couples in the Bedroom

There are 4 things married couples can do to bring the excitement back into their bedroom. Before I let you in on this handful of bedroom advice for married couples designed to save you and your spouse’s sex life, I want to briefly cover what causes bedroom boredom in married couples.

Sometimes familiarity ruins an otherwise spicy sex life. For men especially, the idea of being with the same lover for the rest of their lives can snuff the candle right out. Perhaps there are physical differences in the two of you now – you’ve gotten older and busier at work, and thus don’t have time to take care of your bodies the way you used to, and your partner doesn’t feel as physically attracted to you anymore. Still other couples have a serious fighting problem – its strange that many of our fights occur in the bedroom, if the occur at home. This is the one room that should be sacred to your marriage, and yet you choose to duke it out with your spouse there.

Married Sex Tips

In other words, a loss of sexual interest in a relationship is all about change – either the lack or presence of it. The four married sex tips below will help you change your marriage into one that includes the amount and kind of sex that you want, the kind of physical intimacy that will keep your marriage together.

1. Work Out (Together)

You and your spouse are most likely not in the physical shape you once were. While no loving couple would outright criticize each other for changes in their body, we are all human and can’t help it if we aren’t attracted to someone anymore. There could be the opposite problem – maybe you don’t FEEL as attractive anymore, and this is hampering you bedroom activity. A lack of confidence will kill anyone’s sex drive – but there is a solution. When you work out, your body will look and feel better, but there are benefits to your brain chemistry as well. Not only will you be more physically able to express your love for your spouse, you will want one another more. The confident glow a person emits when they’re confident in their body is just as sexy as a well toned physique. Besides that, exercising (especially doing it together) whether it means yoga, long walks, or hard weight training – it all gets your blood moving. When your body is active, your mind will be active, and having an active physical and mental life with your spouse will always lead to the lights being turned down low.

2. Experiment (Not just in the bedroom)

Working with your spouse to discover new things you’re interested in will spark your old romance quicker than you might think. When I suggest you experiment, I am of course talking about sex. No one wants to get into the same old sexual routine – and reading a sexy book together or watching a risqué movie can certainly push you into better sexual habits. There’s an entire market in “renewing romance”, and you can find that sort of advice by visiting an “adult toy store” – there’s bound to be one in your are, or you can try an online version, such as Toys in Babeland (my personal favorite).

But experimenting doesn’t stop at the border of the comforter. Why not try an exotic cuisine with your spouse, something neither of you have ever had? Indian or Thai foods are new to many people, and are available in most areas as they grow increasingly more popular in Western culture. If you’re in a larger metropolitan area, you have a huge selection – from Ethiopian food (eaten with your hands, very romantic) to vegan cafes, there’s likely to be something new to the both of you that you’ll probably learn to love.

There’s more to experimenting than just food, of course. Take up golf or tennis – these activities have the added bonus of helping keep you fit. Maybe you’re already an athletic couple – go to art museums or small gallery openings. Events like this are cheap or even free and get your mind working in all new ways. Try making a commitment to your partner – one new food and activity every week. Without saying a word, your love life will improve, as experimenting in your daily life leads to playful times in bed.

3. Renew (Your vows)

You’ve already started to renew your bodies – it may be time to renew your weddings vows. This doesn’t mean launching off on an expensive trip back to the site of your honeymoon, or having some ceremony your friends will be too embarrassed to come to. Don’t get me wrong, taking a second honeymoon or renewing your wedding vows in a ceremony can be beautiful, but you don’t HAVE to do it this way. You can simply sit down together and take a kind of “State of the Union” inventory. What about your wedding vows have changed? Are there any big problems that need attention? Is it necessary to rewrite your vows, adding new facets to your partnership, or clearing up confusions between the two of you? Simply talking to your partner about the changes in your marriage can reignite the passion that existed at the beginning of your lives together.

4. Take a Trip (Together)

There are plenty of marriage-saving events you can attend with you spouse – some are relatively luxurious, involving spa treatments in exotic vacation destinations. Want to save your sex life in the Caribbean – there’s a retreat for that. But the pressure and anticipation of “marriage counseling” means that no one will be truly comfortable. It may be a better idea to take a trip just for the two of you.

This can be as romantic an encounter as you make it. Perhaps you can go back to the city where the two of you met – an old college town or the hometown you grew up in. Being in a familiar place, the place you first fell in love, is likely to bring back all sorts of helpful memories. Remember that the point of these tips is to “reignite your old passions, the way you would touch one another when you were first in love, the way you looked at one another. Taking a trip together to a romantic location will give you time to bring up any issues you may have with your marriage in a neutral setting, and surrounded by comfort and a beautiful or at least familiar landscape. Sometimes just getting out of your home or your daily routine can give that much needed boost to your physical intimacy.

There are many reasons why a married couple may find their sex life falling off. Almost all of these excuses can be countered with a few simple changes in your life. Be adventurous, experiment, and try to remember the excitement that brought the two of you together in the first place. Stick to these tips, and your bedroom will be back on fire before you know it.

How To Make Up With Ex Girlfriend

It is indeed not that easy to learn how to make up with ex girlfriend. This is because any kind of problem that has something to with relationships is always a sensitive issue. And this is even much harder if you are the one who has been rejected. However, if you truly believe in your relationship and you truly love her, this should be enough reason for you to persevere to bring her back into your life.

However, you also need to know that there are a few things that you will have to go through. If you want to know how to make up with ex girlfriend, it is still necessary for you to reflect on the things that you have done in the past. You still need to understand why you really broke up. There is a need for you to realize where she is coming from.
This can also be a very good way for you to realize the things that you have done. And if you know that you have committed some mistake, it is necessary that you apologize to her. This is a very mature gesture and she may consider it as a very positive act. Perhaps, this can also bring back her old feelings for you. Actually, an apology is a very powerful tool in any reconciliation and this is very essential if you want to learn how to make up with ex girlfriend.
But once you have apologized, you should never expect anything. As a matter of fact, it will do you good if you will stay away from her for a while. You should still give her the time to assess her true feelings for you. Perhaps, she is still hurting so it will be a good gesture if you will allow her to recover.
As of the moment, it will do you good if you are going to focus on yourself. It is a good idea if you will still have a social life even if you are hurting. You still need to be very productive even if you are not feeling fine.
Also, you need to remember that you still need to be a gentleman. You should never force her to talk to you if she does not want to. You should never stalk her or send endless love notes. These acts may seem pathetic and can make your chances even slimmer.
In learning how to make up with ex girlfriend, it is necessary that you do it with sincerity. You should show that you deserve to be given a second chance and you really regret your mistakes.
Learning how to make up with ex girlfriend is not a very easy thing to do but nothing should stop you if you really love her.
Want to reconcile with your ex wife? Learn how to get ex wife back that has helped over 6000 couples get back together.

Getting back your Ex. and Rekindling the Love back.

There’s usually the require to understand conclusiveness in every broken romantic relationship. It’s a way of understanding that the romantic relationship has lastly been relinquished. How can you possibly acknowledge that it has really come to an end when your world has been shattered? It is hard to accept that true love is nothing but dust within the blowing wind. I received info from my friend on an eBook ‘Ex Recovery System Unadvertised Bonus “Sure Signs You Nevertheless Have a Chance to Win Your Ex Back” when I was attempting to obtain info on how to get my ex back again.
The other eBook my friend suggested was ‘The Ex girlfriend or boyfriend Recovery Program Knowing Your Man/Woman and how to get Them Back in 30 Days’ by Ashley Kay Time is a major element in discovering out how to obtain my ex girlfriend or boyfriend back. The more time that passes provides your ex girlfriend or boyfriend the chance to ponder on all of the difficulties that were in the romantic relationship. Soon all he will keep in mind are the bad times. You have to act as quickly as he walks out the door.
Common misconceptions that I thought I ought to do when I was fresh from a break up were:
1. Leaving him alone
2. Permitting him too a lot time to ponder your situation
3. Staying friends
This enables room for closure which is your number 1 enemy. It will assist you to realize the reason why your ex left. Ideas on self-evaluation to enable development of the relationship and how you can win him back are available.
Communication is essential to disclose what you need and want from each other. Wanting to understand how to obtain my ex girlfriend or boyfriend back could be utilized for self actualization because there is a require for evolvement and change. Become more spontaneous. Be nurturing and knowing. Be selfless and thoughtful. The reward for this is that you’ll receive the same in return.
Providing without expecting reward will ensure that you’re gifted with a lasting wonderful relationship.
Would you like to learn advice on how do I get my ex back?
Then email me or chat with me: mikky_yahoo.co.uk

Affairs (Dating Married People) As A Dangerous Game

Being the other woman/man will bring you tons of trouble

There's one piece of dating advice so obvious that you wouldn't think it would be necessary to pass on, yet it seems to need saying: don't ever EVER date a married person. In the US 44% of married men have had an extramarital affair and 32% of married women follow suit. In a probably-related-statistic,  almost 50% of all marriages fail in the US. Even without interference from outside parties, marriage requires one's utmost attention to sustain it. Even if the morality of the situation has no impact on you, consider the impact having an affair with a married person will have on your self-image. Besides wrecking other people's lives, being the "other man/woman" will sap your dignity and self-worth despite whatever cavalier approach you may take.

I will be brutal here; You are stupid if you think an affair is fun lark. Married people often have affairs due to purely selfish desire and due to sheer boredom and it will hurt you. You will not come out of it well. An opportunity is presented to you and you are too greedy to say no. Sex with a married person is dramatic, open, stimulating and very exciting. For the married person it is all these things plus a release from the mundane situation they find themselves in; a release from the boring sex and drudgery of daily life. And none of it will last.

The problem with dating a married person when you are single is that you remain single throughout the affair. You are not a couple so don't fool yourself. Sure you may act like a couple when you are together, but you aren't. In the very beginning you will see quite a lot of your new lover. Secret dates will be established and the excitement will make you feel alive. But as soon as the guilt sets in for your married lover, excuses will develop and you will be kept hanging on, but ever available just in case they can make it. It is a subtle process and by the time you realize, it's often too late to save your heart.

Oh yes, you will never be without a phone on the off chance that your lover will call. They want to see you but you must be understanding that its not easy for them. Indeed you will be praised for just how understanding you are. You have just become a saint and a martyr. In the meantime they will be tucked up in bed with their other half trying to fix things. They won't tell you that of course, because they don't want to hurt you. You will have to endure endless months of discussing what it will be like when you are together (which you probably never will) and you will face comparisons with their spouse at every turn, even if they never vocalize it.

You will be expected to be available just in case because one can never tell when your crutch-like strength will be required and you will be thankful for any small morsel of time you are given. They will insist that the evening you had a week last Tuesday was a great deal for them to arrange so be grateful and that you should just hang on for them if you love them. And so it goes on, month after month. Of course the key thing that makes your affair different from everyone else's is that it is 'different'. Your passion and love is almost unique and you know they are in a terrible marriage and they made a mistake and you will be perfect together. In other words, you will make excuses whenever possible to justify the situation - just a little more time and things will be fantastic.

No one else can possibly understand what you both are going through and so you will withdraw from some of your friends. Partly because they strongly disapprove of what you are doing. Your weekends will be wasted as will vacations because whilst you are alone waiting at home for the phone to ring, they will be at social functions and parties and all kinds of domestic events that you would die to have but are never afforded the opportunity of having. You trust your lover implicitly. After all you are in this together. The thing is your entire relationship is already founded on deceit. And if they can do it to their husband or wife they can also do it to you. And they will. Eventually!

You see, if your lover was going to leave their partner they would have to leave for themselves and not for you. If they are going to do it for themselves it will be much sooner rather than later. If they haven't become single within 12 weeks they probably never will. They must leave not for you but for their own reasons. If they leave for you, you will be held silently accountable in future every time life is not perfect. And for all you know, they may always be looking backwards with a half-glance and all that they left behind.

If children are involved in the marriage then although you may not be able to fix their marriage, you are contributing to destroy it and with it, the children's stability. Walk away as fast as possible in the opposite direction and keep walking. Never fool yourself here, dating a married person is a complete waste of time in 99% of cases. A very few do make it through but almost all don't. You will have absolutely no idea as to what your married lover is going through and you will be nothing more than light relief to something far more serious.

You will lose self respect because you are sharing your lover, you are falling in love with someone you cannot have, you are second best most of the time and you will be extremely lonely. Most of the evenings will not be with your loved one so your relationship cannot grow, much of what you do will be based around sex not love. Your relationship will be extremely intense but will be sporadic and unfulfilling. As a woman you will be made to feel cheap and may even fall pregnant in which case your situation has just become highly complex.

The thing I cannot stress enough is how much you will be lied to. The person you love will be telling you lies almost constantly. It is not that they are essentially bad, it is that they will over time get used to lying to spare feelings whilst protecting themselves. And do remember that in the midst of such emotional turmoil, they will have no option but to start considering only themselves. In the end they will find lying to everyone second nature, even though it may be cutting them up emotionally. A married lover simply wants to sit on the fence and never make a decision. They want you to decide for them which of course you cannot. You could demand that they leave their partner for you once and for all, but in doing so you are now standing in the firing line.

Finally, they will see you as part of the turmoil of their life and they will ditch you, just like their spouse. You get tarnished with the same brush. That's how it works.

The simple question I will ask is that if you really do value yourself and understand yourself and if you truly believe that there are some truly great single people out there, why would you waste your life on dating a married person. For all these words, people will continue to learn from their own mistakes and in doing so pass on their valuable lessons to others. But for the sake of some short term passionate sex, you truly could be risking everything. Let us hope that you have the wisdom to walk away and not look back.

If you really want to remind yourself of what life and love is about, just know that you won't find it in an affair.

Five Great Steps to the Perfect Breakup

Whether you're dumping or getting the heave, there are only so many ways to move on confidently. Just don't expect it to be painless. An Esquire columnist advises men on the best possible breakup.

Breaking up is a little like field-dressing your own chest wound. You don't have a choice. Your heart's still thumping in there somewhere. Do it right and the damage might be negligible, the scar insignificant. You'll be back in the stink before you know it. Do it poorly and you'll be left lying around for weeks in a bed somewhere, pondering your future in an emotional wheelchair, with this nasty weeping gash over your heart. And eventually that will start to smell.

It really doesn't matter who breaks up with whom, you or her. Whether you're pitching or catching, dumping or getting the heave, there are only five things you need to remember:

1. Operate quickly.

If you're the one doing it, do it now. Do it tonight. Don't wait. Don't over-plan, or rehearse excessively. Quit looking things up on search engines, you putz. Don't read any more Web pages promising to help you with the perfect breakup. Get moving. Time is your enemy. Every hour you spend in the company of someone you don't want to be with, someone who may very much think otherwise with regards to you, is the perpetration of a fraud. If the breakup is happening to you, go just fast enough that you still understand everything you're hearing. Don't sit there and beg for a few more minutes. That's pathetic. Always. In this way, time is your enemy, too.

2. Tell, don't show.

At their very beginning, and at their very end, relationships are about want. Just say what you desire. Clearly, honestly. Declare yourself in these terms only. Go for the simplest answer every time. Being with someone is a kind of long-term demonstration, an act of showing the other person what you feel. But breaking up is simply an act of telling them what you want. Get clear on this: they either want the same thing, or they do not.

3. Don't worry about staying friends.

You have enough friends. You don't need any more, especially ones who've seen you at wine tastings and who know your back hair intimately. This directive implies the following: Forget expectation. Don't worry about being kind. Be honest. State what you want. Don't be overly solicitous. Don't make promises. Don't ask for promises. Don't plan on having lunch to discuss things. Don't bargain on a relationship that might not exist in thirty-seven minutes. Don't even feel obligated to discuss things after that.

4. Just don't make enemies.

You have enough enemies. You can be sure of it. This one means: Don't be cruel. Don't be sarcastic. Don't be overly dramatic. Show some respect and don't shut down on legitimate questions. Simply err toward honesty, even if the truth makes you uncomfortable. Bargain only on your next potential relationship, and recognize that might begin as soon as thirty-seven minutes from now.

5. Throw away your cell phone, stay off the Internet, don't show up.

If you were incredibly reliable before, that was probably part of the problem. Don't communicate. If you weren't reliable in the first place, why start now? What will that change? The word of the moment is distance. Embrace it. No matter what you want from the other person, stay away from her until she can give you what you want, whether that's distance or intimacy. And remember that it's likely this will never happen.

That's it. These rules work both ways — for dumper and dumpee. I have others — choose a private space in a public place; apologize, but only for the present; don't beg; don't kick yourself; don't kick anyone; don't listen to pop music — but these have more to do with which end of the breakup hammer concerns you.

Either way, there's going to be some pain. Just keep in mind that while the wounds may be in some way mutual, the only heart you're compelled to tend is the one that still beats in your very own chest.